Things I wish someone would’ve told me before I became a mother for the first time...

Just a few days ago some friends of ours had their first baby. This precious new life that’s joined their family has been greatly anticipated and joyously welcomed. The parents are in their thirties and have been married for just more than a year. As I was thinking about this soon-to-be Mom and Dad throughout the day as Mom was in labor, it got me to thinking. Becoming a parent for the first time is a huge adjustment. There were a lot of things that came as a shock to me and other things that I thought I should just not tell anyone about. Soooo....in no particular order, here is a list of things that I wish someone had told me before I became a Mom for the first time.

**Disclaimer: The following will likely involve WAY too much information so if you are one of my brothers reading this or a male outside of the health profession, you should probably click away right now!**

1. Even if you have a forceps delivery with a 4th degree episiotomy and too many stitches to count which required a low residue diet for days, you will absolutely completely heal “down there” so don’t even worry about it.

2. Breastfeeding feels really weird and you will get used to it. It is hard work but hands down one of the most rewarding things I’ve done.

3. The more often you empty your breasts, the more milk they will make. (Too bad bank accounts don’t work the same way!)

As an added bonus, by exclusively breastfeeding it’s possible to hold off your monthly cycle for MONTHS!!

4. Buy a Medela electric breast pump whether you plan to work or stay at home. It will be your best friend. With my 3rd child I started pumping the day I came home from the hospital. After the morning feed, he’d fall asleep and I’d pump out the rest. My breasts got used to making enough milk at that time of day to not only sustain him but to eventually freeze multiple gallon bags of frozen 4oz bottles of breast milk. The Chef got to care for his son in a way that didn’t involve fecal matter or a change of clothes. Plus for them both!

5. Do NOT be surprised if hormonal shifts occur in the form of anxiety. I expected to be weepy, but not prepared to freak out when I dropped a jar of mayonnaise and it broke.

6. More than a baby is born that day. A Mama is born too! It took 9 months to form that baby in your womb but it will take a lifetime to form a Mama. Becoming a mother for the first time is a totally new realm of who you are now becoming, so be patient with yourself.

*see #7!

7. Do NOT feel like a freak or a total fake if you don’t immediately feel all drippy in-love with this newborn. As my eldest son was put on my chest, I remember thinking, “Smile really big because people are taking pictures!” And later I told my Mom and my Aunt that even though I was holding him and knowing he was mine, it still felt like I was holding one of my cousins or something. My brain and heart just couldn’t figure it all out at first. But it will come with time. Even if it’s longer than you expect of yourself.

8. As a parent, you will most likely always feel like a loser. That fear will be confirmed as fact once your child turns 14.

9. The parental guilt comes with the positive home pregnancy test. Remember how you felt you didn’t eat enough vegetables or exercise enough when pregnant? Those feelings will continue when you can’t get the baby to burp, figure out why she’s crying, when she falls and bruises her head when learning to walk, (or pulls a piano bench on top of her face at 18 months in Peanut’s case!) or when you forget to do the Kindergarten All About Me project that was due. As parents, we just do the best we can and pray that God will fill in the gaps and make up for our shortcomings!

10. It takes time to get to know and learn your child’s signals as to what she needs, but you will know. She has to figure it out first because...well...she’s never been a person before! You are smart and you will figure it out in time. If you get impatient, frustrated, exhausted, or even disgusted, do NOT hesitate to call a friend or neighbor. There’s always someone around more than willing to lend a helping hand and get their newborn fix at the same time (me!! me!! me!)

11. And finally, the thing that took me most by surprise.....in that moment... that very moment when you know that the head is out...the shoulders are guided one, then the other....everything seems so surreal....the rest of that baby comes sliding out and just before the boy/girl announcement is made.....somewhere in that moment it’s as if you are as close in a physical sense as you could ever possibly be to the Hand and presence of God.

I don’t mean just spiritually, but physically.

For a life to transcend from one realm to another is a very sacred thing whether it be with the birth of a child into this world or the passage of a soul from this world into eternity.

With the passing of an individual, the body remains and the saved soul is welcomed into Heaven.

With the birth of a child I believe the soul is already present, so to witness that birth...the deliverance of a new life into this world....physical body and soul.....for human flesh to touch a new life whose flesh has never before been touched by human hands....and with that new life’s first breath.....WOW. It’s the closest thing I can ever imagine to being able to physically feel God’s Hand....to be the first to see and feel something fearfully and wonderfully created by Him. I can hardly believe He’s allowed me to experience it five times. I am blessed!

So, there’s my list. Any moms (or Dads!) out there who may be reading, I’d love to know what things you wished someone told you before becoming a parent! Surely I’m not the only one!