Special is on my mind

I just wanted to pop in to say that I haven't forgotten about my series of "Special" posts. I'm finding it really hard to decide the proper way to go about telling our story. My Special and I had roughly 6 calendar months together. At times it was pretty intense. I prayed from the first 20 minutes she became "mine" that God would help me to love her as His child and to help me see her as a child with a story instead of a problem. Since that moment I tried to make a conscious effort on my part to do just that. God truly delivered. Given the fact that I have 5 children of my own, as well as a classroom full of other Kindergarteners that are just as worthy of my love and attention, there is no way that I could've had the patience and blind love for my Special that resulted without divine intervention.


I really, really, really want to give all of the details of my experience with Special, but I just cannot do that legally, morally, ethically, or professionally without her mother's permission. I also understand that Special is a person herself. I have to respect that although she is young, there are some things about her behavior that should remain private in order to protect the integrity of not only who she is but who she will become. I'm quite sure that my own children have behaved in ways that would completely embarrass me if they were published on the internet, whether my children's identities were known or not. Now granted, I think I can safely say that thus far, my children's actions have never been anywhere near as severe and drastic as Special's, but I have to consider Special's privacy, as well as her mother's feelings, regardless of whether they are ever aware of my words. I heard a speaker once say, "It's not like the parents are keeping the good ones at home. They're sending you the best they got." Special's mother loves her just as I love my own children.



So, I'm not sure how to go forward from here. I'm actually considering calling Special's mother and asking for her permission to tell the full story of Special and me, as well as permission for her words about our own story....the story of Special's mother and me. We kinda have a story of our own. At least in my eyes. And I strongly suspect in her eyes as well. She's alluded to as much. Please pray for any words or conversations that Special's mother, grandmother and I could have together in the future. This may amount to nothing and it may be something I never pursue, but it's been a persistent thought so I think there may be something to it. I feel kinda silly asking for prayer but I know I need to. So many times I feel a "nudge" to do something and then I chicken out. I don't know if my urge to call Special's mother is the work of the Holy Spirit or my own agenda. Honestly, the thought of approaching a parent under these circumstances really freaks me out! It's a situation that needs to be handled carefully and respectfully.



After having a two week break since last seeing Special, I have to admit that I kind of miss her. When dealing with a child like that, you end up investing a huge amount of yourself...your energy, your patience, your compassion, your sanity! Isn't it true that the things in life that require the most of you are usually the most rewarding? She fell so deeply in love with school. It was surprising to everyone. She seriously loved school so much that on the rare occasion she would have to leave a little early, she would fall in the floor or crawl in the corner wailing and crying and her mother and grandmother would have to drag her out the door. So I do kind of miss her a little. Ok, maybe I don't miss her that much ha ha, but I do wonder how she is. I hope she's happy. It would be nice to see her for about 15 minutes and get another Special hug, as long as she didn't come running full tilt towards me first, which she has been known to do. Did I mention she's the size of a 4th grader?!?


So we shall see where I go from here with my Special. Again, prayers for enlightenment in that area would be appreciated. I really hope that I can soon give all the details of our story because trust me. It's a doozy!